Comforts After Reading
by MudbludGranger
Summary: Clara has become obsessed with a book series, The Doctor enjoys teasing her about it, but is a little jealous of all the attention she's been giving the books and not him. He sees she's beginning to read the saddest of them all, he can't let her read that one alone ... Rated T for later chapters.
1. Clara's Book Man

Clara's POV

_'OI!' she screamed. 'HAND LICKER! THAT'S DISGUSTING!'_

_'Your mom liked it,' he replied, before catching himself. 'That sounded better in my head ... Anyway! How's is disgusting? We're married, remember.'_

_'Oh, yeah, I forgot.'_

I snort out loud. Someone forget they were married? "Your mom liked it"? What. An. Idiot. But then again, I love that idiot, even if he is just a fictional man in a book.

_These books are based on a true story. _

Who CARES. I'm not going to glide up sweetly to The Doctor and say, "Hey, Doctor, can we go on a mad hunt for a crazy man who lives in a magical ship machine that took almost fifty years to decide what it wanted to look like, outside and in?" HAH. As if he'd go for that. He's a man travelling alien with a snog bo- a box. He's not about to go looking for another man who is apparently an alien, too, from another world. Or ... is it this world? I can never really tell. It's confusing. The whole book series is confusing. Like, he's from another world but obsessed with people from this one ... is he from the same universe though is what I wonder. In the book series there's this parallel place, too, and I'm not sure weather that's this universe or another because this man is really from this one ... I'M CONFUSING MYSELF!

I don't love the man in _that _way, I just want to meet him and thank his wife for writing the books. And thank him for doing everything he did in them. Maybe if I used the man's real name, the name hardly anyone knows because it's only just been released.

Mickey Smeltings.

I could walk up to The Doctor and ask him to do a search on Mickey Smeltings. But what would he find? He'd find the seven year od version, the one before he was giving the title that would become both his first and second names. AND his title. Maybe if he looked up PROFESSOR Mickey Smeltings ... no, no.

I don't know why I have this sudden obsession with this character. Maybe it's because the character is a huge fan of The Doctor. It says so in the books, at least. I'm mentioned too actually. Or maybe it's because this man looks like The Doctor but with blue eyes. Or maybe it's because he used to look like Tom Felton, a long time ago ... got universe, get some originality. But then, in _The Big Book of Spaceprinces _in reads:

_A Spaceprince will aways look like a non-famous human male or female who is alive somewhere out in the universe, was, or will be. When the changes start, he will always look like a famous one, or a well known speciman. The other person is not always human and can be alien or a cross betweet species. The speciman will or caan be from any universe. Some popular human males Spaceprinces have turned into:_

_Tom Cruise, Robert Pattinson, Joey Richter, Tom Felton, Alan Rickman, Uncle Ben, William Shakespeare._

_Females:_

_Adele Adkins, Marilyn Monroe, Queen Victoria, Julie Walters, Joanne Rowling._

_Some popular aliens are:_

_The Doctor, An Ood, The Master, A Garlok well known to Spaceprince kind, Kristen Hawking-Star._

Not quite sure who The Master is, but I know the others. Not that I've met the last two, they're in the books. Oh, you need to read this passage on Spaceprince changes:

_Spaceprinces are immortal, meaning they can never die. When killed they will become a new person (See chapter seven). The changes are infinite, however it is possible for a Spaceprince to die, if (s)he is human for a long period of time, or is killed in the process of a change. Example of a Spaceprince death: James Crouch (The Lord), who had been human for thity years, was shot and refused to change and he died in the arms of the last remaining Spaceprince, Mickey Smeltings (The Professor)._

_Changes may be prevented if a Spaceprince is not badly injured, for exaple: Mickey Smeltings (The Professor) was shot by a Garlok mid-run. The change started and he used the power of the blue fire to heal himself, before directing the rest of the magic energy into a detached body part, stored by the red button under the console of his ship. Limb was later touched by a chosen human, therefore growing an exact copy of the mentioned Spaceprince and so leaving one to have his angel time, and one to go back and end the seperation period between him and human Lily Swift._

Interesting, right? These books are infecting me, honsestly! I need to go back to reading them. RIGHT NOW.

_'YOU FORGOT WE WERE MARRIED?'_

_'Well, sort of, I, yes.'_

_The screen before them switched on. It read: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M DYING!_

_'Shut up, Cassandra, you old cow.'_

"Clara?"

I look up. Can I ever get some peace in this damn TARDIS? I try my best to scowl a The Doctor, but I can never stay mad at him for long. He raises his eyebrows at my attempt and I cant help grinning.

"Yes, Doctor?" I ask, with raised eyebrows. I shift my book so he can see I'm reading.

"Oh, reading again?" he asks, like he's teasing. "I must be setting a good example." He walks over and sits next to me with a silly grin. "Watcha readin'?"

"_The Un-Notable Adventures of Professor's Ten to Twelve_," I quote the title.

"Those Professor books, still?" he mockes being shocked, and then frowns. "I don't like those books. They don't make any sense, honsetly. I read a line in one once, _'OI! It's not my fault I'm late, it's your new husbands. It's his fault I didn't exist!' _Cant make heads nor tails of it, myself."

"You'd have to read the whole thing to understand," I tell him. "Well ... you'd actually have to read from _The Professor and Aimee: Thirty Minutes To Save The World _up to the end of _The Professor and friends: The Chamber Opens_. If you really want to get it-"

"I'd have to read the entire series, I know," says The Doctor, staring down at the page of the book. "You've only told me one hundred times. If I hear one more, " he puts on a high voice, "'_Oh but these two are SO OTP! Eleven is so not their lucky number!' _I'm gonna scream."

"I didn't know you were in your eleventh incarnation, okay?" I defent myself. "But it's true, ti isn't a lucky number for them ..."

"I know, I'm only teasing."

The Doctor does that a lot. God, I felt so bad when he just said, ever so casually, "I'm in my eleventh incarnation you know," after I was all "Eleven again. Worst. Number. Ever." I was _extra _nice, for days. I didn't even complain about his stupid TARDIS hating me all the time. I think he found it quite funny. Such a strange man, so many mixed messages. I wish he'd just _tell _me what he's _thinking _some times. I mean, why cant he be more like the man in the book? They're both aliens and both travel through time and space. Except the man in the book is pretty much like an open book ... no pun intended. But honestly, he's compltely open. I remember once he stood on a montain top, screaming all his secrets in front of a large crowd of aliens, and a giant evil creature made of fire, called Grampy. Or what about the time he declared his love for the woman he'd only just met on a rooftop when they were about to be killed by some creature that kept yelling, 'Timey Shootey!' But no. The Doctor is S-O-O secretive. But I guess that's what makes him him, and I love him for that.

No I don't.

I should stop saying that in my head without thinking through it. I mean, I love The Doctor, but not the way that sounded. I shouldn't. I cant. Is that even legal? Not to say that I wouldn't, if the situation were different, more normal, more allowed ...

_No, no, no, _I have to keep telling myself. _I musn't think like that._


	2. The Saddest Book

The Doctor's POV

I love arguing with Clara about her books. I have actually read them, all of them, and I've understood them. Who couldn't? Psssh. Humans. I pretend not to have, though, to see the look on Clara's face as she goes over things again and again with me, trying to get me to understand the books. I love seeing her face light up when I finally pretend to understand something, when really I've understood all along. I like to make sure she's happy. But ...

She spends all her time in her room reading, these days. I mean that's fine, but when we're not on adventures I'd at least like her to spend time with _me _and talk to _me_. I'm more important than silly little books, even if they are brilliant and the author is quite the troll. Cried my eyes out duing _Statues in the City_. Laughed my head off at the ending. Oh universe, silly old universe. "Well, the universe decided to change that fixed point in time. We're not going to die yet, isn't that great?" Forté, you're hilarious. Not great, BRILLIANT, even if you do die in the next book. And so does Ciara. Ciara dies AGAIN. A second time. But it's fine, once you understand how she keeps dying and cmong back.

You know, I'd like to meet this main character. He's got a great understanding of things. I'd like to understand as much as him, he might know something about Clara, The Impossible Girl, The Woman Twice dead. I'd love it if he did, but I'll never meet him. Come on, two travellers randomly meeting somewhere in time and space? How often does that happen? Well, except for the past and current Professo in _Double Professor: The Professor's Wife and The Professor's Daughter. _Now THAT'S luck!

It's been a day since the little mocka rgument Clara and I had, where I quite expertly quoted from one of the books. I wonder where she is now? Probably in her bedroom again. I'll go check. Maybe I can even distract her from the books for a bit.

I walk through the TARDIS corridors until I reach her door. I knock, and enter. "Clara?" I say, as I go in, and I see her sitting on her bed, grinning broadly. Oh GOD! She's reading _The Eleventh Professor and Lily: The Metal Battle _for the first time! Oh she's smiling now alright, sure, but it looks like she's only on the first chapter. Wait until she gets to the last ... she wont be smiling then. She wont smile for days. Weeks even. After I read it sometimes I'd just be laying in bed at night, thinking, then the ending would come into my head and ...

BOOM. Explosion of noise Timelord tears.

I don't think I could bear to see Clara like that, because despite myself, I love her to bits. It's normal to love and care about your companions, but this feels different. I don't want it to. It feels like ... something I haven't felt in a long time. Back, way back in the days of Rose Tyler. But I don't want to think about that. I want to think about this, about my Clara Oswald. Not my. She's not mine, she's not a pet or an object to be owned. She is her, her own person.

Who I just happen to be falling in love with.

Am I? I cant be, but I think I am. I think I am but I don't want to because I'm afraid. But ... no. I'm not afraid, I cane be afraid I'm me I'm The Doctor I don't get afraid just look at all I've been through!

But that's the thing though. I am afraid, afraid of loving and losing. And I've already done the first part again. But I'll never let her know, I cant. It will doom her forever. Anyway, she'd reject me. I shouldn't be thinking like this right now.

"Doctor, they're reunited! After two years! Isn't that great?"

She's grinning at me like mad, sitting crossleged in the centre of her circular bed. Why does she look so comfortable? She's always saying her bed is hard and lumpy. Oh, nevermind, she's shifting now and murmering a small "Ow". I think she's sat on a spring. Oh bad, bad TARDIS. Give her a decent bed, would you?

"Yeah, great," I say, smiling and sitting on her bed, near her, being careful not to disturb the two books piled on top of each other. _Kristen: Left or Right? _and _The Eleventh Professor and loved ones: The Lord and The Journey's End. _Oh god, there's a box of tissues beside them, and now that I look closely I can see she's been crying. Yeah, those two are a couple of sad books.

Clara repositions herself, up by her pillows with her feet stretched out. She frowns. "It's _impossible _to get comfortable on this bed!" she whines, looking at me like it's me fault.

"You don't have to read in here all the time, you know," I tell her with an easy laugh. "There's a living room, you know, even if I don't use it."

"Is there?" Clara's jumped up and grabbed my arm. "Take me to it."

"Alright," I say, grinning at her. I discreetly take the tissues and slip them into my bigger-on-the-inside pocket. She's going to need them. I am, too. I'm not letting her read that book alone, not the ending anyway. She'll be howling. Knowing her she'll be crying even at the happy part, where other world Tony and this world Jo run to each other, because other world Jo and this world Tony are dead and techinally Jo and Jo and Tony and Tony are the same people anyway.

I lead the way through the winding corridors, past rooms Clara's never seen before, some I haven't been in in years. When we read the livingroom the lamp on the wall is on, giving enough light for reading. Clara sit's down on the big white couch and I sit beside her, watching as she gets comfortable and opens the book. I get into a position where I can read it, too.

"Well, read on then," I say, when she pauses.

"You want me to read it out loud?" she asks, shocked.

"Yes," I say. "It's about time I started reading those books. Go on, don't keep me waiting."

And I listen and she reads on.

_'I know I may sound mad, but we have to go on the adventure we're been running from,' said The Professor, softly. 'It's the only way we can stay together. And we __**will **__be together, trust me on this.'_

And on and on and on ...


	3. Never let me go

Clara's POV

Good for him! He's finally decided to start what's OBVIOUSLY the best series to read. And now, I get to read it to him! Glad I'm on chapter two, though, if I was reading him chapter one we'd BOTH be blushing like mad because of what's implied in that! What's implied obviously happens though, it says so in the last book, otherwise there would be no Jack and no Ciara. Even if Jack does die. I didn't mean that as harshly as if came out, oops, sorry Jack Potter Olsen.

I read on and on, both of us reacting pretty much the same. It's both of our first times. Ghosts, huh? They're not metal Wonder what that means. But ... Garloks are metal. Oh the outside at least. On the iside they look like ugly brains with tentacles, eyes and beak thingys made out of brain tissue. EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW! I wouldn't want to meet one!

Okay now the book is getting pretty serious. These ghosts are a _bad _thing, apparently. I wonder what Teddy would have thought ... but Teddy stayed away, in a different world, because in that world his gran is still alive when in this one she died when he was fourteen. And he's got a friend over there. AJ. AJ Clarke. He was nice enough. Too bad Mrs Doyle had to die, though. She was nice. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HER! But it did. It did have to kill her. It was created to 'Remove' all those who refused to be 'Updated'. Poor other world Jo died in that one too. 'You are Tony Swfit I know I remember I was Joanne Swift'. So sad. Hopefully this one will be happy. I'm sure it will be, I don't want to cry again, especially not in front of The Doctor. I'd feel like such a pathetic idiot.

But I do cry. I cry a lot. It _is _Garloks. And Robohumans. Together. Both trying to take over the world while fighting each other at the same time. Both are metal. The Metal Battle. And everyone is there. Jo, Tony, and TEDDY'S BACK! And so's AJ. And Lily has made her desicion, she's going to stand with The Professor, or die trying. I cant read any more, so now The Doctor is reading it to me. It's nearly over. Please, pleasde have a happy ending.

It doesn't. LILY, YOU IDIOT! WHY DID YOU LET GO? YOU SHOULD HAVE LET IT TURN OFF, THEN YOU COULD HAVE TURNED IT ON AGAIN QUCKLY SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TIME TO BE KILLED, THEM YOU COULD GRAB THE THING AGAIN! BUT NO! YOU HAD TO LET GO, DIDN'T YOU? AND NOW TONY HAS SAVED YOU. AND NOW YOU'RE TRAPPED FAR FAR AWAY. I CANT TAKE THIS. I JUST. CVBNMK,M NVBBN MN BVCGBHNJMKBJVG CFBNB VGBHNB VGBHNBGVGHNBVGHJBHVGJMKNVBHGJNBHVGHYJNBVGHJNBGHHJK MNBVG

He's there. He's really there. But changing. Oh Professor, why must you change NOW!? Why cant you stay with her once you've changed, or would the change blow that universe open again? Oh god, no. 'Professor, I love you.' SAY IT BACK! OH MY GOD LILY LET HIM FINISH WHO CARES IF HIS HAND IS GLOWING!? NO DON'T RUN AWAY! NO THE CHANGE IS SLOW! IT CAN WAIT!

You didn't even say goodbye. It's like Rosalie-Jean all over again, except you weren't conssiong your love for her. Oh? Universe? Giving him ten minutes? Let's see where this goes. Please don't make me cry any more. The Doctor's crying silently as he reads, too.

ZAFRINA AND TEDDY GOT MARRIED!? OH MY GOD AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HE JUST NODS AT THEM HE'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN NO NO NO NO!

'I wish you were my son.' ALONZO HE'S CHANGING DON'T DO THAT! OH MY GOD NO KRISTEN, WHY COULDN'T YOU COME OUT SOONER!? HE'D SEE YOU REMEMBER! OH GOD HE KNOWS YOU REMEMBER HIM! OH GOD NO WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?

OH MY GOD HE'S VISITING JOHN AND OTHER ALONZO IS THERE OH GOD HE'S SENT JOHN TO KRISTEN OH GOD I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHERE HE'S GOING NEXT.

OH GOD. HE'S GONE TO LILY BEFORE HE'S MET HER. OH GOD NO. SHE'S GOING TO BE THE LAST THING THIS HIM SEES, AND SHE WAS THE FIRST. NO, DON'T SAY GOODBYE! NO, DON'T WHISPER I LOVE YOU! NO! DON'T CHANGE! IT CANT BE OVER! DON'T SAY THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DON'T DO THAT DON'T YOU DO THIS TO ME DON'T

"Stop," I say, shaking and sluttering, and The Doctor obeys. The book isn't even over.

"I'm sorry," he says, as if he's saying he's sorry for someone's death. But it's just like that, isn't it? To me at least to me it is.

"Why does everything have to end?" I whimper, wiping my eyes on my hand but it not working because the tears keep coming.

"I don't know," he whsipers. "Please don't cry."

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because I hate seeing you cry." He sounds like he's about to sob. It hurts.

Who am I kidding? I love that man. I love him to bits and I don't want to see him cry, I don't want him to see my cry either, but I cant seem to stop. He pulls out a tissue and I take it, wiping my eyes better than before but the tears I wiped being replaced by new ones. Some for the characters in the books, some for the people they're based on, some for me and some for The Doctor. He opens his arms and I fall in against his chest, and he holds me close. I sob into his shirt, getting him all soggy, because neither of us care. I can feel his tears dripping down onto my head too, and that makes me want to scream. I clutch at his back with my finger nails, clinging onto the back of his purple coat that he always wears and he responds by holding me closer.

"Please don't go, Doctor," I whimper. "Never let me go."


	4. A Happy Ending for a Lonely Angel

Third Person

"Never," The Doctor whispered, and in spite of himself, in spite of how he had once said 'Never say never ever,' into Clara's hair he whispered, "I never ever will."

Neither knew how long they stayed like that, but it was long after both their tears had stopped and dried, leaving the tracks they made stiff and cool. They held on tight and didn't move a milimeter.

Until Clara let The Doctor go and leaned back to look up at him, making up her mind, looking itno those ancient, green eyes.

Was her face getting closer? What was she staing at? She was staring at him. His hearts were pounding as The Doctor's mind raced, forever trying to avoid the word that kept cropping up.

_Love. _

He forced his excuse not to, to cancel that word out.

_Loss._

_Love._

He had no other arguments. He may have been trying to deny it, but he definetly couldn't any longer. He was in love with the wonder that was Clara Oswald, and he was sure he had been for a long time. Maybe even going as far back as Victorian Clara. And wanted what was about to happen, to happen.

Their soft lips met and their eyes fluttered shut at the exact same moment. Neither one wanted to pull away, not even to breath, but eventually Clara had to. She didn't have a lung capacity like The Doctor's. She was crying again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking away and trying to move away, too. But The Doctor pulled her back.

"I said I'd never ever let you go, remember?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and trying to coax a smile. It worked. "And why did I say that, Clara?" he asked, and Clara shook her head. He took in a deep breath. "Because, I love you."

"You do?" Clara asked, her surprise evident, but also her joy. The Doctor nodded, and Clara's face broke out into a grin. "I love you too."

"Well, good," The Doctor said casually. "Now. Don't be upset over that silly book, because remember the last one? Ten months later they're together again. And remember, The Professor changes and he meets his other soulmate." He laughed when Clara's eyebrows shot up.

"You've read the books!" she said, pretending to smack his arm.

"Yes, I have," said The Doctor.

Clara didn't speak next, she just laughed and attacked his mouth with hers, and he responded. Long seconds passed. Minutes. The Doctor felt something happen that hadn't happened him in a long time. Clara could feel it too and blushed, and giggled. She pulled back to raise an eyebrow and The Doctor looked smug.

"Stop it," he said, looking at her look.

Clara did just that, and kissed him yet again. The Doctor responded hungrily and next thing they knew they were waking up wrapped up in each other in The Doctor's (incredibly comfy) bed. Neither one regretted a thing. And they _never ever_ would.

Both Clara and The Doctor got their happy ending then, just like the people in Clara's favourite books. And you know what? The very next day who did they run into? Yup. The characters. Well, the people they were based on. And guess what? The Professor worked some of his Spaceprincian magic on the universe and he universe granted a miracle upon the man who deserved one most. The universe gave The Doctor Clara, forever, and she would never age. The Professor gave a gift too. He gave The Doctor what he had: The abilty to die, come back, and never change, or in The Doctor's case, if he were to regenerate he would be just like, say ... Jenny. Remember Jenny? The Doctor's daughter? If The Doctor were to die, he would regenerate without a hair on his head changing, nor a single aspect of his personality, and he and his Clara could now be happy forever.

The Doctor finally got his happy ending which he so greatly deserved, and all was well.


End file.
